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Sunday, December 25, 2011

For All Who Have Lost Someone Close. A Christmas Post.


Merry Christmas!

It’s hard to believe that December 25th has finally arrived. It’s been a fabulous month here at A Writer’s Mind. My What Every Woman Wants Beneath Her Christmas Tree blog event has once more been a pure pleasure to host. Sixteen authors and jewelry vendors have visited and shared some truly wonderful Christmas tales. I would like to thank each and every one of them for joining me this holiday season. You ladies are the best! I'd also like to thank everyone who has popped in and commented. It meant so much.

For those of you joining me for the first time, if you have a few minutes to spare and want to share the yuletide with some fantastic people, grab a hot cup of hot chocolate or whatever your device and scroll back through the posts. Don’t forget to comment today for a chance to win a $100 gift certificate to Amazon.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to share today and decided that I'd rather be honest and shoot from the heart... this Christmas is a bit difficult.

As many know, I lost my Dad at the end of July and Christmas without him is… not quite Christmas. It was very important to me this year to try to keep things as normal as possible. For the sake of my son. For the sake of my mom. For the sake of myself.

There’s a certain joy that Christmas offers. A bittersweet nostalgia. Memories that though they hurt can also be healing. The lights, the warmth, the tradition of it all.

In fact, everything has gone quite well this holiday season. As far as everyone knows, I kept a dry eye. Until today at the store. I picked up a candle and thought to myself, “Time to buy a Christmas card for mom!” So off I strolled with a smile on my face, a bounce in my step, simultaneously sniffing the Warm Apple Pie candle and pushing my cart until I arrived at my destination, the card section. Not thinking twice, I reached up and grabbed a ‘Mom & Dad’ Christmas card. Eyes round as saucers, I froze.

Mom and Dad?

Regrettably, no.

Yep, I had a mini break-down. I quickly hustled away to the soda isle where I buried my tears by studying the ingredient label of a Diet Coke bottle. Let me tell you, there are some alarming things in soda. Suffice it to say, I quickly pulled myself together. No need for tender moments mere feet from so much carbonation. Shoulders back, determined gait full steam ahead, I went right back to that card isle and picked out the perfect Christmas card for my MOM.

Life goes on and I truly believe the worst disservice we can do to those who we’ve lost is to cease doing the little 'normal' things because they’re not right there with us anymore. After all, I think they still are with us. We just can’t see them. But we can feel them. I think Dad was right there with me telling me to pull myself together and stay strong. That I should celebrate Christmas with his memory close to my heart.

Dad, I love you. Though I can’t ‘give’ you anything for Christmas this year I hope that this, your favorite Christmas song, reaches you wherever you may be…



Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday!

~Sky

14 comments:

Beth Caudill said...

Merry Christmas Sky.

We lost my grandmother in August and my husband just lost his grandmother. (The funeral is tomorrow).

We're keeping Christmas on the same schedule but it's more subdued this year.

The Scarf Princess said...

I'm sorry for your loss Sky, but proud of your strength in getting through this time of year where it's all about memories. Thanks for putting on this event, the generosity of you and the other authors is greatly appreciated!

Merry Christmas!

joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

sulekkha said...

So sorry for your loss, I lost my dad last year on my birthday 8th January. How do you think I celebrate my birthday and his passing away day? It's tough. I miss him and know he is around, but I miss him :(

Renee Vincent said...

I am so proud of you Sky.

I hate to say this, but it may not be the last "break down" moment you ever have. Unfortunately, they come when we least expect it...but honestly, that is the beauty of it.

Your father's memory will be triggered in many ways and soon instead of breaking down in tears, you'll be smiling at the most unpredictable moments.

I loved this post and it reminded me of how I felt the first year of losing my sister. I totally understand what you are going through and hope that you find comfort in knowing your father loved you so much.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Sky!

Frank said...

Huge hugs, Sky--I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my FiL late last year, and that first Christmas was very rough. It's hard to go on, but I'm glad you honor his memories that way, too!

--flchen1, using DH's account
f dot chen at comcast dot net

Dawn Doucette said...

Oh sweetie... my heart is feeling your love and loss this holiday. I'm so sorry for your family. I hope your son had a good Christmas and that your mom feels everybody's love, including your Dad's love from heaven!

{Hugs!}

Anonymous said...

My father died right after Father's Day, 25 years ago. My mother died just over 5 weeks later. They'd been married 50 years. I miss them all the time, but their birthdays, their wedding anniversary, and Christmas are when I miss them most. It is no longer painful, and I have wonderful memories, but the loss and lump in the throat feeling will probably always stay.

You are not alone in loss, and thought that might not help much now, in a few years, someone else will be grieving. Perhaps someone you don't know now, and you'll be able to comfort them in a way others really can't. I hope that helps. God bless.

Sky Purington said...

Oh, Beth, I'm so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your husband this holiday season. Big hugs, my friend.

Sky Purington said...

Joder, you are a complete sweetheart. Thank you so much for your kind words and for joining me and all the wonderful authors and jewelry vendor who visited. I hope you enjoyed a very Merry Christmas! xo

Sky Purington said...

Sulekka, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's so hard. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. If you ever need a 'cyber' shoulder to lean on, please feel free to contact me at Skypurington@live.com. I'm always here to help anyway I can. Sometimes it's easier to chat with someone going through the exact same thing.

Sky Purington said...

Renee, I simply adore you sweetie. Thank you so much for the kind words. It's going to take some time before things are even halfway normal in my life again, but with friends like you by my side, how can I go wrong? (((warm cyberhugs))) and tender thoughts for your sister. xoxo

Sky Purington said...

Thank you so much, Frank. What a lovely message. I'm so sorry about your loss as well. May our loved ones stay close to our hearts. Wishing you and yours a wonderful New Year. Hugs!

Sky Purington said...

Dawn Marie, absolutely love you, girl. Thanks for stopping by. You are a complete gem. I think it's way past time we garden together. I say we Skype next summer over Hostas! xoxo

Sky Purington said...

Anonymous, what a touching message. I am so very sorry that you lost your parents so close together. That was my worst fear in that my parents were married 40 years. I believe people can die of a broken heart! But my mom is determined to see my son grow into a man so I have my fingers crossed. I also like what you said about me perhaps being there for another down the line. I've already made it a goal. It's so wonderful to know that there are others out there who can affiliate and perhaps... sooth? I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and that your New Year is better than you ever could have imagined. God bless. Your friend, Sky.