Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season!

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season!

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Welcome to my blog! Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee and read what's on my mind. I've a vicious sense of humor, an apprecation for romance and a mad addiction to writing.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Humorous Christmas Tale. P.L. Parker. Blog Event.

My 'What Every Woman Wants Beneath Her Christmas Tree’ blog event continues. So far it’s been a total blast! Just popping in for the first time? Well, this event hosts a new author or vendor every two days between now and Christmas Day. So sixteen features and over sixteen giveaways. Everyone who comments between now and December 25th is entered for a chance to a win a $100 gift certificate to Amazon!

Today I’d like to welcome over romance author, P.L. Parker. One lucky commenter will win an Ecopy of her latest tale, Will O’ the Wisp.

A little Christmas tale of humor from P.L. Parker’s lips to this blog…

He was exciting and fun, handsome and very masculine, but self-centered and self-serving. Stubbornly, my mind refused to accept those little warning signs. He was after all…so perfect.

Christmas season was upon us and it would be my first Christmas with a boyfriend in a very long time. It was to be a very special time. He’d given subtle hints about the present I was to get and my mind whirled with all the thrilling possibilities. We’d been dating long enough—it could be something really special. Christmas Eve and Day would be spent with my kids and my parents, so my friend and I decided to have our own private Christmas celebration a week in advance.

He invited me to his place for dinner, drinks and the exchange of gifts. I was so on edge with anticipation, nervous and excited, and when he told me early in the evening that my gift was “round,” I knew what it was! A ring! It had to be a ring! I could barely contain myself I was so keyed up! Surreptitiously, my eyes searched every corner, looking for that small white box I knew had to be here somewhere. Dinner seemed to take forever! Would he ever bring me my gift?

Finally, he stood up. “Your gift’s in the other room.” He smiled mysteriously and disappeared into the spare bedroom.

My heart pounded! I would throw myself in his arms and cry “Yes, Yes,” when he popped the question.

Banging and rattling came from behind the closed door. He must have hidden it well! Seemed to be taking awhile or perhaps it was just my own impatience making it seem longer than it really was.

The door slid open and he stepped out! My eyes bugged out. I froze. In his arms was a giant round thing! He dropped it on the floor and…it bounced. An inner tube?

I stared at the object. “Wha…? What is it?”

He gave me an odd look. “It’s a float tube! For fishing!”

“For fishing?” My elation took a huge nose dive.

“Yeah. Soon’s the weather warms up, we’ll take this baby out for a run. You’ll love it!”

“But I’ve never been fishing in a float tube!” And I didn’t want to either. Granted, the tube was pretty fancy. Had it’s own little mesh seat and a back rest, but it was still just an inner tube. Not what I was expecting! And definitely not something I’d ever wanted or would ever dream of buying for myself! I. Wasn’t. That. Person!

“You should be excited,” he exclaimed, animated. “This one was used in the TV commercial for the company.”

"Oh,” I muttered, feeling even more…crushed. “So it’s a used float tube.”

“Well, yeah. New ones cost about $150. You’ll need to pick up a pair of waders and some flippers, too. That’ll cost you about $75.”

Oh, so he couldn’t spend that much on me! I had spent almost $200 on his gift! And he was an engineer—at least that’s what he told me!

“Oh, and you’ll have to learn how to fly fish! Only way to fish in a float tube.”

“I’m sort of a bait fisherman. Nothing more exciting than trying to skewer a worm with a hook!”

“My woman needs to fly fish!”

“You know what?” I gathered up my things. “I need to get home. My babysitter can’t stay late tonight.”

“I thought you said she could.”

“I was wrong.” I headed out the door with him trailing behind, the float tube bouncing along beside him.

“I’ll carry this out to the car for you,” he offered. “You can play around with it, get used to the feel before we go fishing.”

“I can hardly wait,” I murmured. “Feeling all goose bumpy just thinking about it.” Chill bumps more like it!

He kissed me goodbye and I left.

A few months later, I got the chance to give that baby a run! My first try, the flippers stuck in the mud, I flipped upside down and almost drowned—saved by a nice older gentleman who actually cared!

Sadly, the relationship with Mr. Fisherman ended soon after that! Sadly? I probably should say happily!

Sky here. OMG, that was funny, P.L.. Love it! Thanks for sharing!

A bit about P.L.’s giveaway, Will O’ the Wisp…

Stalked across the vast reaches of the universe, Tannis, the last fecund female of the clan Light Bringers, takes refuge on Earth, veiling herself within the dying form of a human female. Her energy forces are flagging and to rejuvenate, she must seek the healing properties of the sun’s rays, but by doing so, she risks discovery by the hunter. Time is short and Kadin—the most feared assassin of all—draws near!

Purchase Will O’ the Wisp at Amazon.

P. L. Parker
Romantic Adventure at its Best

Website ~ Blog ~ Myspace

Don’t forget to comment for a chance to win an Ecopy of Will O’ the Wisp and a $100 gift certificate to Amazon! Contest ends Thursday, December 1st, 12 AM EST.

28 comments:

P.L. Parker said...

Good Morning Sky! And thanks for letting me be a part of your Christmas blog event. So very fun!

Sky Purington said...

So glad to have you over! I love this post. Made me chuckle. :-)

P.L. Parker said...

And the sad part is it is true! I kissed a lot of toads before I found my prince!

Hywela Lyn said...

Oh what a funny story, Patsy, but what a letdown! I've had a couple of boyfriends like that in the past too and one can laugh about it afterwards, but at the time - !

Have a lovely Christmas with your Prince and the rest of the family.

P.L. Parker said...

Thank you Lyn! You have a great Christmas too!

Mary Ricksen said...

You shoulda sold the tube as you dumped the guy! Very funny now, but I'll bet it wasn't then! But, look at it this way. Thank God, you'd have been miserable!!!!LOL

P.L. Parker said...

Mary - I did sell the tube - LOL! Got $50 out of it! At the time I was devastated, but I have such a good husband, I can't complain and now I look back and laugh.

Celia Yeary said...

P.L.--just like a man...or at least, some men. Very, very funny! But you know...I actually a woman who would love a tube like that! Really, she would think she'd died and gone to heaven.
To each his/her own.
The cover for your book is outstanding--just gorgeous. I wish you all the best with sales for this one!

Alyson Reuben said...

OMG, how hilarious! A used innertube! And the babysitter line made me grin, too :D

Your new book sounds awesome. Hope its sales skyrocket off the charts!

P.L. Parker said...

Thanks Celia and Alyson for stopping by. I love to fish, but after that one experience, float tube fishing is not for me!

Emma Lai said...

OMG, that's so funny!--and sad for the clueless fisherman.

Sharon Donovan said...

Patsy, oh what a letdown but worth the price of a chuckle. I once had one that actually took me to the cemetery to meet Dad since he couldn't be at the holiday gathering! YEAH

Cara Marsi said...

Patsy, you always have the funniest boyfriend stories. The one Christmas that really stands out for me was when I was afraid the guy I'd been dating for four years would give me an engagement ring. I'd fallen for someone else while in Italy that summer, and while the Italian affair didn't last I knew I had to break up with the boyfriend. I told him I didn't want a ring, but when he showed up with a ring box and handed it to me Christmas Eve with my father looking on, my heart sank. Was I ever glad to see a pretty black onyx ring nestled in the box. I still have that ring.

Your new book sounds really good, as usual.

P.L. Parker said...

Thanks Emma, Sharon and Cara for stopping by. Emma, yes he was clueless! OMG Sharon, a cemetery! That is so much better than mine. Cara - you need to tell us about the Italian Affair! Sounds...interesting!

Beth Trissel said...

Oh my, what a tale. Unbelievable. Although, my late grandfather on my mother's side once gave my grandmother an anchor for HIS boat as a Christmas gift. Still spoken of all these many years later. I'll never forget this one, Patsy. Wow.
your story sounds sensational, btw.

P.L. Parker said...

Thanks Beth - LOL, so many good stories about "special" Christmas gifts!

joder said...

Funny story P.L.! And yes, men can be totally clueless when it comes to gift giving. I really don't know any woman that would love fishing gear, so you're not alone.

joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

Linda LaRoque said...

Oh, my, PL. Too funny. Enjoyed the excerpt. You have such a fascinating imagination. I loved Riley's Journey and Fiona!

P.L. Parker said...

Thanks Joder and Linda for stopping by. I agree, men are clueless. My husband used to buy me all the wrong things, so I'd take them back, buy something in the same color and he never figured it out! He does better now. Thanks Linda for the good words about Fiona and Riley's Journey.

Anonymous said...

I would have put the tube over his head rolled him away

Sky Purington said...

Popping my head in to say "Hi!" Sorry I didn't join the crowd this afternoon. If I'm not busy working the one job, I'm working the other.

I see some fabulous people have popped in today. Doesn't surprise me in the least with Patsy visiting.

That last comment by 'anonymous' cracked me up. I'm with you... tube over the head and roll him away. LOL. Guess in her own way, Patsy did just that! :-)

marybelle said...

GREAT STORY!! I received a fishing tackle box once. I don't fish. At least it was pink. I used it to store seeds in the shed.

marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

P.L. Parker said...

I am so enjoying the comments!"Rolled him away" and the "pink tackle box." How funny!

A short excerpt from Will o' the Wisp:

Night surrounded her. She drifted, a mere wisp on the wind, tumultuous thoughts causing the mist to darken to a cloudy grey. He was after her and if she didn’t find a host body soon, her destruction was imminent. Only in corporeal form would she have the ability to elude him, to mask her presence. Weakened as she was, she was vulnerable, easily overcome. She stifled a sob, struggling to maintain her veil of silence.
What did she know of him? Rumors abounded with his legendary skills and determination. He was relentless, too experienced. Too determined to end my existence! Weary and distraught, she settled to the ground seeking a place to hide—to build up her flagging energy reserves for the next leg of flight. It would’ve been better to find an energy source but if he was as gifted as she’d been led to believe, he’d detect the transference and strike.
Why is he after me? I’m not a destroyer. I don’t harm anyone? Why me? No rational explanations existed for the unanswered questions.
Leaves rustled overhead causing her to cringe in fear, the tendrils of mist darkening to black. Mentally damning his formidable strength, she sent out miniscule feelers seeking his aura, careful not to delve too deeply lest he perceive her intrusion. What was he after?

P.L. Parker said...

Oh by the way - Good Wednesday morning.

Chicks of Characterization said...

OMG,that was a great story!! I tend to think there are allot of disappointments during the holidays!

Been in the same situation! And I too went through some serious toads before I found my prince too!!!

Atleast your gave the "tube" a try!!!

Have a Merry Christmas!!

Andrea :O)

P.L. Parker said...

Thanks Andrea! I will admit that I was probably some male's toadette on many occasions - just the way life is. But I did kiss more than my share!

Sky Purington said...

Thanks again for joining me the past few days, Patsy. Love that excerpt! Wishing you and yours a very Happy Holiday!

P.L. Parker said...

Most welcome Sky. Was so fun!